Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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