I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
