My first STD was from a foam party
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
