I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
