chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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