I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
