My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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