Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
