Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
