We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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