question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
