i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
