Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
