I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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