dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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