Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
