u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
