sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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