My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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