so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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