I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
