It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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