The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We're too hungover to prance.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
