Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
