Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
