with your own penis?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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