Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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