You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
a search helicopter?!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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