Its about making memories worth repressing
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
