Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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