let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
