I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
