just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
