I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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