yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
