i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
