I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
