Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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