so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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