I bet he comes in French.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
