The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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