brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
