i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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