I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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