I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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