Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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