You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
