Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
