if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
