Rock
Scissors
Fuck
This is not my ceiling
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
